


Survivors

by Shinda85



Category: The 100
Genre: Clexa, F/F, F/M, M/M, Season 4 except Lexa lived
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:09:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9656909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinda85/pseuds/Shinda85
Summary: Clarke has to battle the upcoming radiation threat. How will they survive. Lexa lives after she is shot





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is season 4 but Lexa lives. I've done it off the new season so far, let me know if you's want me to continue cause I'm not sure about this one

Clarke sat on the floor hugging her knees to her chest. Titus had left with lexas lifeless body 12 hours ago, both her and Murphy have been locked in the room. Clarke stared at the blood stained bed with the memories of what had happened coming back in flashes 

"Don't you dare give up" 

"You were right klark life should be more then just surviving"

Clarke shook her head trying to rid the memories. Murphy sat down beside her 

"We have to get out of here Clarke" 

Clarke ignored him and continued to stare at the black blood on the bed. 

"Clarke I know you cared about her but if we don't leave here we're dead"

Clarke rolled her eyes "maybe that's what we deserve" she shrugged 

The door unlocked and Murphy jumped to his feet. Clarke just sat there as 2 guards entered the room. 

"Cmon Clarke" Murphy pulled Clarke to her feet "we can take them" he whispered 

"No. I'm done" she said calmly and shook off his arm. The 2 guards dragged Clarke and Murphy out of the room. While Murphy was trying to fight Clarke just let them. They were led to some dungeons underneath the tower 

Murphy scoffed "cool. So we're gonna die down here princess, ya happy now" 

Clarke shrugged. They were led to a room were Titus beat Murphy 

"Feels like home" he said sarcastically. Clarke looked at him quizzicality "this is were Titus beat the crap out of me to try get information on you" 

The guards left and locked the door. Murphy went to open it but it would budge. Clarke walked around and had a look at the drawings on the wall and the shuttle. She traced her fingers over the letters on the sign. 

"Is this a Polaris space shuttle?" She asked 

Mouthy laughed "oh princess have I got a story for you" 

.....................

Meanwhile a couple of in a secret room down the hall from Clarke and Murphy 

"She is alive fleimkeeper but she will not be able to function for sometime" said a healer

Titus nods looking at the former commander lying on the bed feeling a guilt like he had never felt before. When he left the room with Lexa in his arms and announced her death he felt her flinch, so he ran down to the dungeons and called for as many healers as he could and ones that he trusts. There had been 8 healers attending to her, they stopped the bleeding and patched up the wound. 

"Do we let people know uncle?" Asked rick his trusted nephew and fleimkeeper in training. He was tall and broad the same age as Lexa. They have been friends since Lexa was bought to Polis to train. 

"No. We can not" 

"Why uncle! Lexa is not dead she is still commander" 

"Look at her young one" rick looked back " she is can't move at this point in time, if the ice nation finds out then she will be killed in her weakened state" Titus sighed 

"So we just let the ice nation take over the coalition! Uncle how could you do this to her!" He spat 

"I was trying to kill wanheda she made her weak, I was only trying to protect her"

"You failed uncle. Clarke was never a danger to Lexa. You should have trusted her judgment" he shook his head 

"I know" he said quietly "I have failed Lexa but I will not fail the coalition"

"What are you going to do?" 

"I am going to give the flame to wanheda, Ontari can't ascend with out it" 

"Uncle wanheda will not want to leave Lexa" 

"She will if she wants what is best for her"

............................

"So that's where I have been" Murphy finished his story about his trip with jaha and his theory on Polaris and Polis. 

"So this city of light is real?" 

"It's is but it isn't" he shrugged "it's just a computer programme princess" 

The door unlocked and Titus walked in calmly. Clarke stood straight and rigid looking at the man who killed Lexa. She clenched her fist at her side and can hear her blood pounding in her ears

"Wan-" he started but was cut off when Clarke screamed and charged at him tackling him to the ground. She punched him repeatedly in the face. Crying on top of him. 

"You killed her!" She screamed as she wrapped her fingers around her throat "and now I'll kill you!" 

Murphy stood by amused 

Titus tried to talk but couldn't get a word out. Until Clarke was tackled to the ground beside him. Titus grabbed his throat sucking in as much air as he could scrambling off the floor. Murphy punched him knocking him out. He looked to Clarke who was being held down by someone who he didn't know 

"She is alive wanheda!" He said quickly just as Murphy was about to hit him

"No Murphy stop!" Murphy stopped. Clarke pushed rick off her and stood up quickly ignoring the pain in her knuckles 

Rick ran over to Titus and checked for a pulse. 

Clarke stood up quickly and picked up a blade that Rick had dropped. She walked to him quickly and held the knife to his throat 

"What the hell are you talking about" she growls 

Rick held up his hands "wanheda ai laik rik kom trikru" 

Clarke lowered her weapon "rick? Lexas friend?" 

"Sha. I am also Titus nephew" Clarke held up the knife again "Lexa trusts me" 

Clarke scoffed "like she trusted Titus!" 

Rick shook his head "she is alive" 

Clarke snarled and moved closer to him holding the blade more firm to his neck. "Your uncle!" She spat "killed her, do you have no honour? No respect that you would use your friends death to save his" Clarkes face was red with anger 

"Never!" He yelled 

Murphy looked between them. "Ok look Clarke maybe we should listen to him"

"Shut up Murphy"

"Hear me out ok he has no reason to lie he could have killed you just now he chose not to and believe me Titus can fight he let you beat him half to death" 

Clarke looked at all three people in the room. "She died" she said softly 

"We saved her wanheda" rick said proudly 

Clarke felt a spark in her chest the same spark she felt die when Lexa did. "Take me to her then" she demanded 

Rick pulled Titus off the floor and threw him over his shoulder. He lead them not too far from the room they were in. He stood in front of the wall and pushed in a brick. The wall moved back and then over to allow them entry. Clarke could feel hope in her stomach and swallowed the lump in her throat as they entered the room. She gasped when she looked to the bed. There lay Lexa. She felt the tears run down her cheeks as she ran to the bed and kneeled down beside her. She check her neck for a pulse. Then checked her wrist. "She has a pulse" she said quietly. She put her ear over her chest to listen for a heart beat. She closed her eyes and started sobbing when she heard it. She sat up and kissed Lexa on her lips and brushed her hair out of her face

She heard Titus stir and stand up on wobbly legs. He went to approach the bed but Clarke put herself over Lexa and snarled at him

"You stay the hell away from her!" 

Titus stopped in his tracks and sighed "wanheda we must talk"

"I have nothing to say to you!" She yelled 

Rick knelt down beside Clarke and Lexa "Clarke Beja you must listen I know this is hard I love her too" Clarke shook her head and her face flushed, she did love Lexa but never got the chance to say it 

"You have to leave with the flame" said Titus

Clarke laughed "you are a fool if you think that I am leaving this room Titus" 

Rick held out his hand to take lexas but Clarke roughly pushed it away "do not touch her" she said in a low threatening voice 

"Very well but you must listen, you have to leave with the flame. You have to keep that flame away from Ontari is she becomes the commander she will kill all Skai kru"

"Sounds like a deal" said Murphy "lets go princess" 

She glared at him "I am not leaving her Murphy" 

He groaned "your being stupid" he drawled 

She ignored him and continued to play with lexas hair. Rick touched Clarkes shoulder lightly to get her attention. She looked at him with red puffy eyes. He spoke softly to her "if Ontari becomes commander she will destroy everything that lexa has Built. You can stop that. What would Lexa tell you to do" 

Clarke huffed "she would tell me to leave but I never listen to her anyway" 

Rick laughed "i know" 

Clarke grinned "Will she be safe here?"

"Sha only myself and Titus know of this place the healers fixed her in another room then were told to leave when we bought her in here" 

"What if she needs medical attention" 

"I am also a healer wanheda" 

"And what will you be doing Titus" she snapped 

"Ontari will want the flame she will most likely kill me"

Clarke scoffed not really caring about his fate 

"And you will be here with her" she asked rick

"Sha I have never left lexas side wanheda, she is my family" 

"Ok, I need a minute alone with her" 

We will get supplies for you" Titus said as they left. 

Clarke lied down beside Lexa and held her gently. "I will be back for you leksa" she whispered into her ear.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke opened her eyes after pulling the kill switch in the city of light. She stood up and watched as Octavia killed pike and left. She went to leave the room all she has wanted to do since stepping foot in Polis is go see Lexa. Bellamy stood in her way. 

"Why don't you look like someone who saved the world"

"Cause we didn't" she said sadly. Bellamy sighed

"Come on we have to go outside" Clarke wanted to disagree and go to Lexa but Lexa was as good as dead if she couldn't contain peace. So she nodded and followed him out. 

She looked at all the blood on the streets and people screaming in agony or mourning. Everyone was staring at her with distrust and hate. All she wanted to do was go to Lexa. They all started chanting that name she hated so much. Wanheda. Abby ran to her and took her in her arms protectively and Bellamy stood beside her much the same. She heard people saying king and she remembered that roan was shot. She ran towards him asking her mother to come with her. They found him lying there lifeless. As she was assessing his wounds she felt a blade against her throat. It was echo. Bellamy came running at them telling her to let her go. 

Echo tried to convince the crowd that wanheda was to blame. Kane stepped forward

"Wanheda saved us all" said Kane loud and clear. Clarke watched as echo slit the trikru ambassadors throat and take away the king. 

Clarke saw rick in the crowd and her heart stopped beating. She was worried that something had happened to Lexa. She told everyone she had something to do. 

"Are you crazy these people want you dead" Bellamy said

"We have to come up with a plan honey" added Abby

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek "ok get Skai kru out through the tunnels I'll meet you there to talk about our next move" she ran off before anyone could stop her. She saw rick and stopped him

"Leksa?" She asked 

"She is alive" 

"Take me to her" 

"She is different wanheda"

"I don't care"

.............................

Clarke and rick entered the secret room, She smiled when she seen Lexa sitting up in the bed. But something was different, those brilliant green eyes that once had fire in them were dim. She walked slowly to the bed not once taking her eyes off Lexa. She sat down and reached out to hold lexas hand but Lexa flinched. Clarke swallowed the hurt. 

"Leksa" she said softly "I'm so glad your ok" 

Lexa looked away from her. 

"Leksa?" She tried to cup her jaw but Lexa moved away and looked at rick "what news is there?" She asked him 

Clarke frowned not knowing why Lexa was being so distant. 

"Wanheda destroyed the city of light and azgeda have taken over Polis and killed the trikru ambassador" 

Lexa clenched her jaw. Clarke moved a little closer to Lexa 

"I'm going to fix this leksa" she snapped her head towards Clarke .

"Is that so wanheda" Lexa snapped 

Clarke flinched at Lexa using that title against her. This is not what she imagined there reunion to be like. 

"Yes but we have bigger concerns then azgeda taking over Polis right now" 

"What can be more important then that" asked rick 

"There is going to be another prime fiya" rick gasped 

Lexa just rolled her eyes "how do you know this" 

"Because alie told me. We have 6 months to find a solution" 

Lexa sighed and lied down and turned her body away from Clarke "good luck wanheda" 

"Rick could you give us a minute?" He looked at Lexa and nodded 

"Sha"

When she heard the door closed she tried to get lexas attention 

"Leksa?" Lexa ignored her. Clarke huffed and walked around to the other side of the bed and lied down so she was facing Lexa. Lexa tried to turn away but Clarke held onto her waist tightly. Lexa stopped trying to get away and Clarke looked into lexas eyes. She saw fear, hurt and anger. She reached out to touch her face

"No" said Lexa "stop"

Clarke froze and put her hand between them aching to reach out

"Ok" she said sadly. Maybe Lexa blamed her for all that has happened. Out of all people she didn't think that Lexa would do that. "I missed you" 

Lexa didn't say anything she just swallowed the lump in her throat "you should go" 

Clarke nodded "are you angry at me leksa?" 

Lexa clenched her jaw "no" 

Clarke gripped the sheets between them as she so desperately wanted to hold her "then why won't you let me touch you" her voice cracked 

Lexa closed her eyes and sighed "I do not feel like being touched" 

Clarke nodded again as a tear rolled down her cheeks. Lexa looked at her with sad eyes. "Ok" she squeezed her eyes shut and got up from the bed. "I will be back later" she said as she hurriedly left the room. She walked passed a concerned looking rick. He followed her out. 

"She is hurt wanheda" she stopped and turned to him

"I didn't hurt her" she said sadly

"I know" he grabbed her arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

"Well I guess I better get back to it, come up with a plan to save us all" 

"Can I come and be of assistance?" 

"Sure" 

.............................

Rick and Clarke entered the room her people were currently leaving. Abby, Kane and Bellamy were there. Bellamy came to Clarkes side straight away and rick glared at him.

"Clarke where have you been and who is this" asked Abby

"I was...taking care of something and this is rick he can be trusted" 

Rick nodded to them

"How do you know princess?" 

"Because I do he was a trusted friend of lexas" 

Bellamy shook his head "we couldn't trust her either"

Rick moved forward to defend Lexa but Clarke put her hand on his chest stopping him. 

Indra walked in with Octavia and moved up to Kane and gave him a friendly hug. 

Indra walked forward "when you destroyed the city of light there were 1000 azegada warriors inside of Polis"

"Good timing" said Octavia 

"The only way to remove them is by force"

"Then lets remove them" added Octavia 

"Slow down your talking about going to war" added Abby

"Yes rock line, flukru and broadleaf will join trikru no question but we will still be short"

"This is madness, we should be leaving with the others" said Abby

"They know where we live, if we run they will follow there are 8 other clans how do we get them to join us" said Kane 

"I can do it but I'll need the flame" Indra said to Clarke 

Clarke hearth clenched thinking about anyone other then Lexa holding the flame "no" she said sternly 

"Clarke the clans will follow whomever has the flame" Bellamy tried tomreason

"Azgeda won't"

"Then lets fight" said Octavia 

"No there is no time for a fight" Clarke sighed and told everyone what alie told her in the city of light. They all stood there shocked. Clarke told them her plan to save roan. 

"So what if we save then king then what?" Asked Octavia 

"Look Octavia we don't have time for a war. Roan has to keep the coalition in place so that we can find away to solve the issue at hand" 

"She's right O" said Bellamy 

....................

 

When everyone left Clarke turned to rick "she can't stay here rick, if ice nation control the coalition and find her she's dead" 

"What do you suggest" 

"We take her to Arcadia" 

"She will not like it"

"I don't care she will come if I have to drag her there myself" 

He shook his head "wanheda she will fight this"

"She doesn't have a choice. I will find Skai kru clothing and you will both blend in" 

"Avery well"

..............................

Clarke and rick both entered the secret room. Lexa was sitting up still looking sad/angry. Rick started to change in front of them

"What are you doing?" Asked Lexa 

"We have to leave Lexa, you are no longer safe here" he said as he got changed into Skai kru clothing

"I hope you are not suggesting going to Arcadia" she snapped at Clarke 

"I'm not suggesting it I'm telling you that's what's happening"

"I'm not stepping foot in that place" 

"Yes you are" Clarke moved forward and sat on the bed. 

"I do not take orders from you klark" 

Clarke glared at her. "I don't know what I did to hurt you Lexa but what ever it is I'm sorry! I'm taking you out of here the easy way or the hard way"

"I am not going to Arcadia" 

Clarke shook her head and shrugged "Hard way it is then" she lifted her arm and plunged a syringe in her leg

Lexa grunted and grabbed her leg "what?" 

"It's a sedative" Clarke said as she stood up 

"Klark?" Lexa said trying to keep her eyes open

"Sorry leksa" she watched her eyes close "take her through the tunnels and follow my people. I will meet you both there"

"Will you be ok?" 

"I don't know" she replied honestly "if you hear word that I haven't made it just make lexa stay there till she heals" 

"Very well wanheda" 

"I'm going to contact my friend to let her know you will be coming she will set you up in my room" 

"What is this friends name?"

"Raven" 

............................

They came up with a plan, Octavia would take care of the guards where king roan is being held and let them in to hopefully save him. Clarke sighed and held the radio tight in her hand. 

"Come in Raven?" 

"Hey Clarke, everything ok over there"

"Not really I'm working on it"

"What's new right?" 

Clarke smiled "listen Raven I need a favour?" 

"Why do I have a feeling I won't like this favour you are going to ask?" 

"Please" Clarke said softly 

"Ok Clarke what is it" Raven asked tiredly 

"There are 2 people I am sending to Arcadia they will be in skaikru clothing"

"They're not skaikru?" 

"No they are trikru and nobody can know they are there" 

"Clarke I really don't have time to babysit" 

"It's only till I get there ray" 

"Who are they?" 

Clarke closed her eyes knowing that she won't be happy with this

"Clarke! Who they hell are they!" Asked Raven annoyed

"Lexa and her friend rick" she said softly

"WHAT! You can not be serious right now! Lexa is alive! What the actual hell Clarke!" 

"Let me explain""

"Explain what! How you lied! You said she was dead and if she isn't dead why don't you just give the flame back to her it would at least solve some of our problems!" 

"I didn't lie completely. She did get shot Raven I thought she died I found out like 12 hours later that she lived after the flame had already been removed. I can't give her the flame she is still weak she would be killed on the spot" 

"Why didn't you say anything?" 

"Because I was busy trying to come up with a plan to save us all. Again!" Clarke snapped

Raven went quiet on the other end 

"I'm sorry Raven. It would have made no difference if I told you"

"Why do you care what happens to her?" 

"Raven. Please. She is my-" she rubbed her temples "she is-" she couldn't find the words "please" she pleaded 

"Ok Clarke I get it" 

Clarke let out a sigh of relief "thank you Raven" 

"It's ok just come back in one piece all right" 

"I'll try but ray if I don't can you please just make sure she heals before she leaves" 

"You will be fine princess" 

"Please Raven promise me"

"Ok I promise"

................................

Clarke waited till the last person from Skai kru left before she waved rick over. He had Lexa bridal style so he didn't hurt her wound. She looked rick up and down and smirked. He looked weird in Skai kru clothing. She looked at Lexa who had some blue pants on and a gray hoodie hiding most of her face. She walked up to them. 

"Stay at the back, Raven will be waiting for you" she leant down and kissed Lexa on her forehead "may we meet again"


	3. Chapter 3

Lexas pov 

Lexa felt a wet cloth being placed on her head. She opened her eyes but everything was a bit blurry. She tried to focus on sound but everything was muffled. She felt agony in her abdomen, she grunted in pain and tried to grab at it but her hands where held down and she felt to weak to fight. She searched her memory for why she felt the pain. The it hit her. Titus. Gun. Clarke. 

"Klark" she tried to sit up but was held down again

"Lexa" she looked towards the voice and her vision became a bit clearer 

"Rik" she said hopeful

"Sha old friend. It is I" 

"Rik, Titus-gun-klark" 

"I know Lexa. Sleep when you wake tomorrow we will talk. You are safe here" 

She nodded and closed her eyes. 

..........................

When she woke again she still felt pain but not as much and she could see a lot clearer and her head wasn't muddled. 

"Hello Lexa" rik said with a smile

"What happened?" 

"Ontari killed all the nightbloods in there sleep. Uncle Titus killed himself so she wouldn't turture him for information on the flames whereabouts" 

Lexa gasped "all of them" 

"Sha I am sorry"

"Where is the flame rik" 

"Titus gave it to Clarke to protect" 

"Klark?" 

"Sha"

"Does she know I live" 

"Sha" Lexa looked away hurt. She shouldn't be surprised. Everyone she has cared about left in one way or another except rick. "Don't look like that Lexa she did not want to leave" 

"How long has she been gone for?" 

"5 days" 

Lexa nodded "so Ontari is commander" 

"Sha but that's not all it seems something else is taken over Polis. The city of light?" 

"We have to do something rik" 

"Lexa you can not you are injured" 

Lexa sighed she knew he was right. Her mind drifted off to Clarke and the last time she saw her. "I think Klark cared about me" she smiled sadly

"She still does Lexa" 

Lexa shook her head "no" 

Ric knew he wasn't going to win this argument so he left it "sleep" she nodded, closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. 

...................................

A couple of hours after Clarke drugged her 

She woke up to voices arguing

"I can't believe Clarke!" She heard a woman say

"Yes wanheda is surprising" Lexa knew that voice. She sat up straight and looked at Raven and rick 

"Lexa" he said softly sitting down beside her. Raven stood there with her hands on her hips and shook her head 

"Am I in Arcadia?" She snapped

"Yup!" Raven said 

Lexa groaned "Klark drugged me! She actually drugged me" Lexa said disbelieving 

"She did warn you Lexa" added rick 

Raven chuckled "this in unbelievable" she threw her hands in the air "I'm gonna kill her" Raven pulled out the walking talkie "Clarke are you there?" 

After a minute "Yeah Raven is everything ok?" 

"Ah no. No it is not Clarke are you alone?" 

"Bellamy is with me, we are a couple of hours away" 

"Does he know?" 

"No hold on I'll tell him" 

The walkie talkie went silent. "This is so like Clarke" Raven said to no one in particular 

"Do you mean how she does what she wants and hopes for the best" snapped Lexa 

"Yes! Thank you, someone else finally gets it!" She pointed to Lexa 

"Raven?" Said Clarke 

"Does he know now?" 

"Yes now what's the problem" 

Raven scoffed "what's the problem um lets see. Oh that's right! you DRUGGED the commander of the 13 clans and had her dragged to Arcadia" 

"I told you she was coming" snapped Clarke 

"Oh my apologies Clarke when you told me she was coming I thought she was fucking aware she was coming!" 

"What was I suppose to do! Leave her there to be killed!" 

"It was her choice!" 

"Yeah well she's stubborn and doesn't listen and I wasn't going to leave her there to die!" 

"IT WAS STILL HER CHOICE!" Yelled Raven, she slammed the radio down on the table. And took a deep breath. Rick walked to Raven and squeezed her shoulder. She looked to Lexa who was clenching her jaw 

"Raven" said Clarke 

Raven ignored her and walked to the bed "you gonna try to kill any of us?" 

"Not if anyone tries to kill me" Lexa assured her

"Raven come in" said Clarke 

"You wanna talk to her?" Raven asked Lexa 

"No" 

"Raven, look I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I couldn't leave her there ok. I just couldn't. The ice nation now controls the coalition and I had to give roan the flame i couldn't take the chance of them finding her"

"CHIT!" Lexa yelled scaring everyone in the room. She sat up

"Please Lexa calm down" rick tried to reason

"Give me the radio!" 

Rick picked up the radio and gave it to Lexa, she already knew how to work it as Clarke showed her at some point

"Please tell me you did not give the king of azgeda the flame" she said through gritted teeth into the walkie talkie

"Leksa?" 

"Klark tell me you are joking!" 

"I had no choice leksa please try to understand I did it to save everyone" 

Lexa laughed and closed her eyes blinking away the tears "no you did it to save your people. 100 years of tradition, 100 years of commanders before me have tried to create peace. I did that! I created peace and you GAVE the flame to the ice nation. A ruthless and evil clan, I have sacrificed so much to create that peace and younknow that! And yet you just hand the flame over to roan like it means nothing" Lexa took a Deep breath 

"Leksa I will get it back you have to trust me" 

"Trust you. You drugged me" 

"To save you!" 

"No I get it wanheda. You are keeping me alive because it is what is best for your people, you will most likely find a way we can survive this so called radiation and then you will have me fix everything again correct" 

"No! No leksa that isn't it!" 

"Do not worry Clarke when I am well enough I will leave and I will be commander again and you will never see me Klark. I will appoint another ambassador one that hopefully will not drug me and throw away everything I have worked for"

"Leksa please" Clarke cried through the radio. 

Raven took the radio and turned it off. "That was harsh even for you Commander"

"Leave Raven of the sky people" 

Raven held up her hands "look I'm not happy with her either but she's doing the best she can" 

"Well Raven kom Skai kru, the best she can hurts me deeply so if you do not mind I would rather be alone" 

Raven nodded "I'll come in as much as I can to give you food and what not" she said to rick

"Mochof raven" 

She smiled and glanced at Lexa once more "is there anything I can get you commander" 

"No mochof raven" 

"My room is next door if you need anything"

Lexa slumped back on the bed and let out a sigh once Raven left the room. Rick came and sat next to her 

"I know your angry at me Lexa so I will not bother you but believe me when I say that I bought you here to keep you alive because you are my family. Wanheda cares for you. She believes this was the best option and I agree" he finished by making a bed on the floor and going to sleep. 

Lexa started at the ceiling and let a tear fall from her eye


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke and Bellamy were half way between Polis and Arcadia. She had convinced roan to honour the coalition so they had time to fix this new upcoming problem and although this new problem is there her mind kept on wondering Lexa. 

"You wanna tell me what's wrong princess?" 

"Other then the radiation that could possible kill us all?" 

He smiled at her 

"Clarke are you there?" Said Raven through the radio 

"Yeah Raven is everything ok?" She said concerned

"Ah no. No it is not Clarke are you alone?" Bellamy looked at her and frowned 

"Bellamy is with me, we are a couple of hours away" 

"Does he know?" 

"Know what princess" Asked Bellamy as he stopped her 

"No hold on I'll tell him" she looked to Bellamy

"Lexa is alive bell I had her drugged and taken to Arcadia" 

Bellamy eyes went wide with shock "what?" 

"I found out she was alive 12 hours after I thought she was dead Titus grave me the flame to keep away from Ontari, Lexa is too injured to take back the throne" 

"Jesus Clarke" 

"She will be safe in Arcadia" 

"Will Arcadia be safe from her?" 

"Yes" 

"Raven?" Said Clarke 

"Does he know now?" 

"Yes now what's the problem" 

"what's the problem um lets see. Oh that's right! you DRUGGED the commander of the 13 clans and had her dragged to Arcadia" 

"I told you she was coming" snapped Clarke 

"Oh my apologies Clarke when you told me she was coming I thought she was fucking aware she was coming!" 

Clarke huffed "What was I suppose to do! Leave her there to be killed!" 

"It was her choice!" 

"Yeah well she's stubborn and doesn't listen and I wasn't going to leave her there to die!" 

"IT WAS STILL HER CHOICE!" Yelled Raven

Clarke flinched at Raven yelling at her. She lent against a tree and held back her tears, Bellamy looked at her concerned. 

"Raven" she said through the radio but it was silent 

"Raven come in" she tried again. She felt guilty keeping all these secrets from her friends 

"Raven, look I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I couldn't leave her there ok. I just couldn't. The ice nation now controls the coalition and I had to give roan the flame i couldn't take the chance of them finding her"

"Please tell me you did not give the king of azgeda the flame" she heard Lexa say. She felt a warmth in her stomach at her voice 

"Leksa?" Clarke said 

"Klark tell me you are joking!" Lexa hissed through the radio. Clarke felt her stomach plummet at lexas tone

"I had no choice leksa please try to understand I did it to save everyone" she tried to reason

"no you did it to save your people. 100 years of tradition, 100 years of commanders before me have tried to create peace. I did that I created peace and you GAVE the flame to the ice nation. A ruthless and evil clan, I have sacrificed so much to create that peace and you just hand the flame over to roan like it means nothing" 

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped the tears that fell from her face. Bellamy walked to her and held her shoulder 

"Leksa I will get it back you have to trust me" she said as her voice cracked from emotion and exhaustion 

"Trust you. You drugged me" Lexa snapped

"To save you!" Clarke raised her voice 

"No I get it wanheda. You are keeping me alive because it is what is best for your people, you will most likely find a way we can survive this so called radiation and then you will have me fix everything again correct" 

Clarke felt her heart beating in her ears "No! No leksa that isn't it!" She cried

"Do not worry Clarke when I am well enough I will leave and I will be commander again and you will never see me Klark. I will appoint another ambassador one that hopefully will not drug me and throw away everything I have worked for"

"Leksa please" Clarke cried as the radio went dead. She sobbed into Bellamys arms

"Come on princess lets go you can try to talk to her then" 

Clarke wiped her tears and kept walking 

"You care about her?" Bellamy stated. Clarke ignored him "it all makes sense now. Why you left after the mountain and why you stayed in Polis. How distant you seemed when we were searching for Luna" Clarke ignored him and kept walking at a faster pace

.....................................

Clarke walked into the ark at a quick pace to find her bedroom. To find Lexa. Just as she was rounding the corner to her bedroom Raven stood in front of her

"Move Raven" 

"No"

"Ray move I have to talk to her"

Raven sighed "listen Clarke, leave her be she's fine we have work to do talk to her after we speak to everyone else" 

"Fine" 

............................ 

Raven walked into Clarkes room after discussing with everyone their new plan to go to farm station. She wanted to bring Lexa and rick some food. She place the tray down on the table and laughed at the looks on Lexa and ricks faces

"What is that?" Asked rick with a look of disgust 

"Food" 

Lexa rolled her eyes "it looks disgusting" 

"It fills a hole now look I just came in here to let you know Clarke is back" 

"So?" Said Lexa as she pushed around the food on her tray 

"Just a heads up commander grumpy" 

Rick let out a loud laugh. Raven smiled and then sighed and sat down on the bed

"Rough day?" Lexa said 

"Yeah I somehow became like a leader or something"

"I am not surprised Raven kom skaikru, you are strong and smart" 

"Um thanks I guess" 

Lexa looked at her "tell me what bothers you" 

"Well we found something that might help last the radiation it's in farm station in the ice nation" 

"And?"

"And I want to tell everyone about what could happen if the radiation hits but I think Clarke is hesitant"

Lexa frowned "wasn't klark as father executed because he wanted to share similar information with your people " 

"Yes! That's what I said!" 

"Hmmm"

"What would you do?" 

"Find a solution" she said confidently 

"Would you tell people" 

"Only if I thought that there was no way to survive" 

Both were interrupted by a knock on the door. Jasper walked in before Raven could protest. He stared at Lexa and then laughed. 

"Well hello there commander" he said cheerily "I came to see Clarke, see if she wanted a drink but this is much better" he plopped down next to Lexa. She held up Her hand to stop rick from removing him 

"What is your name?" 

"Jasper, would you like to come drink and dance" he smiled 

"I don't think that's-" Raven started

"Ver well" Lexa shrugged 

"Lexa your not well" said rick

"Gotta agree with your friend commander" added Raven 

"I am not commander anymore" she grumbled and she stood up slowly. She winced but walked. Jasper walked beside her and slung her arm round his shoulder so he could hold most of her weight.

Raven sighed watching Lexa leave 

"Clarke is gonna be pissed"

................................

When Raven found Clarke a couple of hours later to let her know that Lexa went drinking with Jasper she sprinted outside looked for the former commander. She found her sitting in a car with Jasper laughing. She felt a pang in her chest that she wasn't the one making her laugh. 

"Jasper can I talk to you a minute?" 

"Sure" he said stepping out of the car

"These people need to get back to work I'm trying to save us Jasper don't you won't us to survive "

"Nah I don't want us to survive I want us to live" Clarke frowned she used to think like that not too long ago

"If we don't repair that ship none of us will have that chance"

"What about freewill that's why you destroyed alie right? Why don't you tell them all the truth"

"Keep your voice down" she hissed at him

"You should let them decide what they wanna do with their last 6 months, what are you afraid of"

"We can't just go in there with no solutions people will panic"

"Ah I see hmm, that's spoken like the council that sent 100 kids to the ground" Clarke sighed. It's true and she knows it

"So why did you decide to get Lexa drunk"

"I didn't Clarke it was her choice" Clarke pushed passed him and made her way in the car. She sat down in the passenger side while Lexa sat in the drivers seat looking around with wide eyes, if it wasn't for this situation she would find it cute

"Leksa" Lexa looked up slowly to Clarke 

"Klark"

"What are you doing drinking" 

Lexa shrugged "felt like it" 

"You felt like getting drunk" 

"Sha"

"Why?

"Why not?" 

"Leksa come back to my room and then tomorrow when you have a clear head we can talk"

"What about?" She slurred

"Please leksa this isn't you?" 

Lexa laughed "how would you know who I am when I don't even know who I am"

"You are leksa kom trikru" 

"I am no one no more" 

"Please"

"No I am enjoying myself. Leave me be klark" Lexa took another swig of moonshine

"Leksa I know your angry but please come back-"

"Angry? I am furious but the drink makes me less furious"

"Please understand Lexa I wanted you safe" 

Lexa laughed "you did not WANT me safe, you NEEDED me safe" 

"No I want you safe" 

"You use that word again. "Want", if you wanted me you would not have left me" 

"What? Lexa no! I wanted to stay but I-"

"NEEDED to keep the flame safe" Lexa chuckled "did not work did it wanheda" 

"Please don't call me that" she said hurt

"That is your name is it not" 

"No it's just Clarke to you Leksa, I care about you" 

Lexa snapped her head towards Clarke and snarled at her "you do not care about me, you left me. I woke up I needed you and you left! You then gave the flame to roan you gave him power over MY coalition. You then drugged me and got my only friend to betray me by bringing me here!, you do not care about me wanheda!" She yelled. 

Clarke reached out to her but Lexa moved away. "Leksa" she cried "I do care about you. So much" 

Lexa sighed "just leave me be" Clarke got out of the car and ran to the arc so no one can see her cry

.................................

Jasper helped walk Lexa back to her room. Raven walked up behind them

"Hey" 

Jasper screamed and jumped leaving Lexa a giggling mess 

"Your drunk commander"

Leksa rubbed her chin thinking "mmm noooo" she said slowly 

Raven rolled her eyes and walked into her room. Lexa followed

"Go to your own room commander" she said as Jasper sat her on the bed and left 

"Mm Raven can I tell you a secret" she whispered 

"No I'm tired" Raven said pulling off her brace and pants leaving her in a singlet and underwear 

"I love klark" 

"No shit commander" Raven rolled her eyes and lied on the bed 

Lexa laughed slurred "your funny" 

"And your drunk" Raven said closing her eyes 

"I am heda I do not get drunk" she stood up straight and trying to be intimidating but all Raven did was laugh at her

"What ever just go to your own room"she looked up at Lexa and chuckled Lexa had skaikru pants and a Skai kru hoodie on. "I honestly can't take you seriously in Our clothes clothes it's too weird" 

Lexa got a serious look on her face "you are right Raven kom Skai kru " she stood up slowly and pulled of her pants, shirt, hoodie and boots leaving her and just her underwear 

"What the?" Raven laughed "put your clothes back on your drunk" Raven closed her eyes but opened them when she felt the bed tip. She grunted when Lexa threw herself down on Raven her head landing on Ravens stomach "I'm too tired for this shit" Raven grumbled

Lexa hugged her waist and snuggled into Raven stomach "I am tired Raven"

"Get off me then go to bed weirdo" 

"No i am very tired. Tired of fighting. Of killing. Of being hurt" she said softly. 

"We are all tired Lexa just go to sleep"

"Can you play with my hair" 

Raven rolled her eyes "God you are needy when your drunk. If I play with your hair will you shut up and sleep"

"Mmmhmm" she said into Ravens stomach 

"Fine" she said as they both drifted off to sleep. 

....................

Clarke is worried sick she left Lexa in the rover to ask Raven or rick to go get her but she couldn't find them and now she can't find Lexa. She knocked on Ravens door and got no answer so She went in anyway and gasped at the sight before her. Lexa was in her underwear spooning Raven who was in her underwear also. Clarke could feel the anger and jealously burning in her blood, she clenched her jaw and her fists so hard it was drawling blood. She could feel the warm liquid drip down her hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke turned around and held onto the door hard and with all her might she threw the door shut with a loud bang Raven jumped out of bed and held up her gun while Lexa rolled on the bed holding her head. She saw a red faced Clarke and looked at the bed to see a half naked Lexa rubbing her head. 

"Oh no princess it's not what you think" 

Lexa sat up and looked at Raven who looked stressed then she looked at Clarke who looked furious then she felt cold so she looked down to her body realising she was just in her underwear in Ravens bed. Her eyes went wide I panic 

"What does it look like Raven" Clarke snapped

Lexa tried to move but even moving her fingers hurt her head  
Clarke moved up to Ravens space "we didn't" 

"Didn't what?" Clarke asked as she backed Raven up to the wall

"Calm down Clarke" 

"Didn't what Raven?" She spat 

"Klark Beja calm down" Lexa groaned still trying to get out of bed 

"You don't get to talk to me right now!" She said through clentched teeth

Lexa finally stood and tried to seperate them. She gently pushed Clarkes shoulder so she would back away from Raven. 

"It's not my fault that the commander is cuddly when she is drunk!" 

Lexa looked at her offended "I am not!" 

Raven rolled her eyes "sure commander grumpy" 

Clarke shook her head and went to leave the room

"Unbelievable" she spat

"Where are you going princess we didn't do anything" 

Clarke stopped at the door and took a deep breath she turned and looked at them both, she could see Raven was being honest and she trusts Raven she wouldn't take advantage of anyone in a drunken state she knows she also wouldn't hurt her like that. Then she looked at Lexa. She looked in her green eyes and was unsure for the first time since meeting her what it was she was feeling. 

"It's ok Raven. You can have her cause this right here" she pointed to Lexa "Disha ste nou ai leksa" (this is not my Lexa)" she said softly and left. 

"Well great now the princess is mad at me" Raven groaned "thanks heaps Lexa" she sat on the bed "by the way what did she just say" 

Lexa sat down beside her and took a deep breath "it does not matter" 

"Clearly it does and by the way you are so not my type"

Lexa scoffed "you are not my type either Raven" 

"Yeah well. What wait I am everyone's type thank you very much" 

Lexa grinned "I only have one type, blonde, blue eyes goes by the name Clarke griffin or wanheda" 

"Why don't you tell her that then instead of being such a bitch" 

"What is the point we will all be dead in 6 months and even if we do survive everyone I love leaves me one way or the other" 

Raven felt some sympathy for Lexa she knows what it's like to feel alone "I didn't have you pegged at a quitter commander"

Lexa sat up straight "I am no quitter I am a warrior! A fighter! A survivor!" 

"Then maybe it's time to start acting like it. We have 6 months to fix this problem and before the radiation hits your people are going to be more effected then ours. We are used to the radiation being up in space. So instead of wallowing in your own self pity and directing all the blame for everything that has happened on to the one person who has only ever tried to do right, you get off your sad miserable ass and help!" Raven snapped and left the room slamming the door

........................

When Clarke left Ravens room she went back to her room had a shower and lied down. She tried not to think about the green eyed beauty next door cuddling up to Raven. She groaned and punched the pillow. She turned her face into it and rolled her eyes "seriously!" She said to herself. The pillow smelt like lexa. She turned when she heard the door open. Lexa was standing there still in just her underwear. Clarke sat up

"Did you walk through the arc have naked?" 

Lexa looked down to her body and realised she did. She shrugged "I suppose I did" she said as she place her hands behind her back

Clarke shook her head and lied back down. "What do you want commander"

Lexa flinched at Clarke using her old title but pushed it aside as she walked to the bed and sat down "Ai laik yun klark" (I am yours Clarke)

Clarke scoffed and turned around "really because you won't let me touch you but yet you were half naked cuddling up to Raven" 

"I was drunk I would have cuddled up to anyone" 

"Oh great my mistake" 

"No what I am saying-"

"Oh I know exactly what you are saying leksa" she snapped 

Lexa stood up and started to pace. She looked down to Clarke who had tossed her blankets off, she was in black boy shorts and a singlet. Lexa stopped and kneeled on the bed. She parted Clarkes legs and heard Clarke gasp. She lied down so she was in between her legs and her head was settled comfortably on Clarkes boobs. She wrapped her arms around Clarkes back. 

"What the hell. Leksa we are arguing right now you can't just make yourself comfortable"

"Yes I can" she mumbled into Clarkes boobs 

"Your impossible you know that" Clarke layed back and relaxed. Even though she was mad at Lexa she couldn't deny how great it felt to have Lexa touch her again. It sent a warm feeling over her body and also between her legs. Clarke ignored the feeling and stared weaving her hand through lexas hair with one hand while the other rubbed her back. "How is your wound"

"Hurts" Lexa said softly 

"Does it hurt when you are lying on it like this"

"Hurts all the same" 

"Ok" 

"I am sorry Klark"

Clarke sighed and hugged Lexa tight to her chest and kissed the top of her head "please Leksa don't shut me out, you were right before I do need you but not for the reasons you think. I want you and I need you by my side. I am doing the best I can with what we have. I'm trying to save everyone Leksa. If we can't make it then I want to spend the last 6 months of my life with you by my side, even if it's just planning or yelling or just doing this every night"

"Mm that sounds nice"

"Klark?"

"Sha"

"My head hurts"

Clarke chuckled "yeah Monty's moonshine will do that to you. Sleep now and we will talk tomorrow"

Lexa groaned "very well" she mumbled 

............................ 

When Clarke woke she had brown wavy hair in her face. She smiled because knew who that hair belonged too. Lexa. Lexa was half lying on top of Clarke with her face in her neck. Although Clarke wanted to stay there she knew Lexa would wake up with a hang over so she quietly slipped out of the room to get her water and pain killers. When she gentkynclosed the door she almost tripped over rick who was sitting leaning against the wall beside the door 

"Rick?"

"Hello Clarke"

"What are you doing out here?" 

"I seen Lexa walk into your room in her underwear so I thought it best to wait out here" he stood up and stretched 

"Rick I'm so sorry!" She said sincerely "we didn't do anything like that we just slept" she smiled 

"Is she awake?" 

"No I was just going to go get her something for what I am sure will be a painful headache" 

Rick laughed "she never could hold her liquor"

"In her defences montys moonshine is strong" she said playfully "don't wake her ok"

"Alright" 

She walked to the med bay to get some medicine when she bumped into Raven

"Hey ray" Raven looked up to her with wide eyes

"Clarke you still pisswd at me?" 

"No I don't think I ever was" 

"So you and Lexa made up"

Clarke laughed "not really she just walked to my room not long after I left yours and we kinda talk but we have a lot more to talk about but at least it's a start"

"That's good princess, bell should be back soon I hope like shit he got what we needed" 

"Me too" 

...................

When Clarke walked into the room rick was sitting beside Lexa who had her head in both her hands. 

"Hey" Lexa moved her head to look at Clarke but groaned in pain.

"Klark I think your friends tried to poison me" 

Clarke chuckled and shook her head. Rick squeezed her shoulder and left them alone to talk. She sat down beside Lexa and handed her some pills and a cup of water. Lexa looked at it hesitantly "it's ok it will help with your head" 

Lexa took the pills and drunk all the water. Clarke rubbed up and down Lexas back. Lexa relaxed in the soothing motions. Lexa sighed and looked at Clarke. "I'm angry at you klark" 

Clarke paused her rubbing motions but continued "why?" 

Lexa scoffed "why?" Lexa shook her head and spoke softly "I thought that if anyone understood what I had sacrificed it would be you klark. I have given my life to my people, my soul and my heart. The coalition was my greatest achievement and you gave it to azgeda the very clan who took costia, tortured her and had her head delivered to my bed. You know what she meant to me, you know what the coalition means to me and yet you hand the flame over like it meant nothing....like I meant nothing" Lexa looked away embarrassed by the tears that have pooled in her eyes. 

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat and place her hand at the back of lexas neck running her thumb over it soothingly. "Leksa look at me" she said softly. Lexa shook her head. "Beja Leksa" Lexa looked at her and Clarke felt her stomach drop at the tear that fell from Lexas eye. She wiped it away and looked at the hurt in lexas emerald eyes "leksa. It wasn't easy for me to give the flame to roan" Lexa rolled her eyes and went to look away but Clarke had cupped both her cheeks "no wait please listen to me" she pleaded "you saved me you know? In the city of light?" 

"Chit" Lexa asked confused 

"I took ontaris blood and had it put in my body so I could take the flame to enter the city of light and shut down alie and as I was getting my ass kicked you came wielding your sword and saved me. You held them back and have me time to find the switch. You sacrificed yourself because you knew that alie had to be shut down" Lexa looked confused

"I do not understand"

"You were in that flame. Well your subconscious was anyway that flame meant more to me then you will know leksa. It was apart of you and it was not easy for me to give the flame to roan but I would have never given it to him if he hadn't honoured your coalition, I was out of options I need him to control the clans and accept us as the 13th clan so we can try and figure this out" she held lexas hand "please believe me leksa I have every intention of getting it back but what's the point if we can't figure out how we are going to survive the radiation that is going to hit us in less then 6 months" 

Lexa looked at their intwined hands then looked at Clarke. "We still owe something to our people" she sighed

Clarke smiled gently and nodded "I'm not just trying to save Skai kru I'm trying to save all of us. All of our people" 

Lexa nodded "roan will honour the coalition he is a good ruler that is why I made him king, he will keep the coalition together because he knows it is what is best"

Clarke lent forward and brushed her lips over lexas. She loved her. But didn't want to push her away after all in the city of light when Clarke confessed her love to her she didn't say it back "I care about you leksa" she cupped the back of her neck and bought there foreheads together "I can't lose you" she said softly 

"I care for you too klark" it was Lexa this time who closed the distance between them. Lexa pulled back and sighed "tell me everything" she said determined 

Clarke smiled


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry for the late update. Tell you what man it's hard to watch the new season I am so not enjoying it I cringe when ever Clarke is with Bellamy. It's honestly hard to watch the only reason why I do is so I can write this fan fic. Hope you guys are enjoying it

"So tell me klark what do you want to do" Clarke had just told Clarke everything she knows about the radiation and what has happened since she has got back from Polis 

"Jaha believes we make the best decisions we can with the information we have and hope their is a forgiving god" Clarke responded whilst rubbing her temples

"Jaha?" Lexa frowned "the man who helped alie in her vendetta?" 

"Yeah"

"The man who executed your father?" 

"Yes Leksa" snapped Clarke 

"Klark I have no idea why you are listening to him but besides that you did not answer my question, what do you want to do?" 

"I want to save everyone leksa!"

Lexa can see the stress in Clarkes eyes she knows what it's like to have these burdens. Lexa walked to Clarke and placed both her hands on her shoulders to look at her "klark" she said softly "as leaders you can do the absolute best with the information that you have you can exceed what you thought was possible and still even with all the power you hold you will not be able to save everyone" 

Clarke sobbed and buried her face into lexas shoulder and hugged her tightly around her waist "we can try though"

"Yes we can but we can not control the inevitable and klark and death is inevitable"

Clarke nodded "I want to tell people but I know it will cause panic and that's the last thing we need right now we still have time to fix this" 

Lexa smiled "sha"

Knock knock 

"Hey princess" Raven entered the room. She looked at Lexa "commander grumpy"

Lexa rolled her eyes "Raven" 

Raven smirked she liked annoying the former commander it was fun "Clarke just thought I'd let you know Bellamy is back" 

"Thanks" she smiled. When Raven left she went to her drawers and pulled out a green hoodie and gave it to Lexa "here put this on" 

Lexa nodded and put the hoodie on. Clarke walked up to her and pulled the hoodie over her face "matches your eyes" she said softly "come on you can come out with me not many people know your face"

"Very well" she replied 

.......................

Lexa and Clarke walked out with Raven to the rover, Bellamy was helping people out of the back. Clarke froze when she seen someone she never thought she would see again "Riley?" 

"Clarke" he replied 

"I can't believe your alive" 

"I know" he replied a little girl took his hand and he smiled and left 

Lexa walked up beside Clarke and looked at Bellamy. He nodded to her. 

Bellamy told Harper to get them all to med bay to be checked out.

Raven walked up to the rover "where is it?" 

"We didn't get the machine" 

"It didn't survive landing?" Clarke asked 

"No it did but I had a choice bring the machine home or use it to save them" he said 

Lexa shook her head while Raven said "we are so screwed" 

"We have time" he said quietly "but I am not sacrificing any more innocent lives"

"You just did" said Clarke and Lexa in unison 

"I made a call and I'll live with it" 

"Yeah your not the only one that has to live with your call as usual" snapped Raven 

"As noble and heroic as you think your actions are Bellamy kom Skai kru you just sacrificed a few for many many more innocent lives" Lexa cut in

Raven shook her head "see even the commander thinks your actions are stupid" 

"Well you go tel them you tell Riley I should have let them to die" 

"Ok stop" said Clarke "how many people will the ship sustain with out the hydrogen regenerator" 

"No more then 100"

"That is it?" Asked Lexa 

"Yeah" said Raven sadly 

"What am I suppose to tell the people now?" Asked Clarke 

"The truth!" Said Raven 

"Call for a general meeting" 

Raven nodded. 

Lexa turned to Clarke "are you sure" 

"I'm sure of what needs to be done" 

Lexa nodded and held her hand 

....................

Bellamy Raven and Lexa stood to the side while Clarke addressed the people 

"When I shut down alie I knew there was a way for us to get though this. Together. Alpha station is that way. Every single one of us will survive on that ship it won't be easy Raven needs volunteers if we're gonna get it ready in time it will be a lot of work but now you understand why we need to do it if we stick tighter I give you my word we won't just survive we will thrive"

"Nice speech" said Raven sarcastically 

"Sometime hope is more important then truth"

"You dad would be so proud" said Raven with bite 

Lexa could see the hurt in Clarkes face so she stood next to Clarke for support and gently placed her hand on her back 

"You wanted workers. Now you have them" she bit back 

Raven shook her head and left to direct the others. Clarke grabbed lexas hand and dragged her though the ark till they found a quiet place. Then threw herself in lexas arms. Lexa hugged her back

"It is going to be ok klark" 

"Do you think I did the right thing?" 

"I think you did the best you could without causing panic" 

Clarke smiled and kissed Lexa on the lips "come on we have work to do"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm unsure about this chapter.

Lexa was lying on the bed as requested by Clarke. Helping come up with a plan or lack of used up all the energy she had. Rick was sitting beside the bed on a chair. 

"Tired heda" he teased 

She smiled at him "shof op rik" 

He chuckled but then had a serious thought cross his mind. He sighed. "What is going to happen to our people Lexa" 

"I do not know. It is hard to get my mind around the tech the Skai kru speak off, this is not something trikru can solve"

"So what do we do?" 

"I am going to help Clarke in anyway I can I believe she truely wants to save everyone but if she can not she has to write a list of 100 people that can stay safely inside these walls I am going to request you be put on that list rick" 

Rick stood up quickly from his chair "no! No Lexa! You will be on that list along with Clarke I am no one of importance" 

Lexa frowned "you are my family, you are important to me" she said softly 

Rick sat down and held her hand. "People survived the first pramfaya they will survive this. I will survive" 

"I am not taking that chance" 

Rick shook his head "you need to be on that list Lexa!" 

"No I need to be with our people" 

Rick stood up again "no I will not let you! Wanheda will not let you" 

Lexa smiled sadly "Clarke will be in this ship and your the only one I trust to make sure she is" 

"No you will be on that list Lexa" he turned around and slammed the door as he exited the room. He was so angry he didn't realise that he knocked over Clarke . 

"I apologise Wanheda I was not watching where I was going" she laughed as he helped her up

"It's fine rick" Clarke could see that rick was upset "what's wrong?" She asked him concerned 

Rick considered lying to Clarke about what Lexa just said but if he tells her then he know Clarke will make sure Lexa is on that list. He gently grabbed her elbow and lead her to a quiet corner "Lexa told me about the list" 

"Hey that's only a back up plan we still have time to fix this"

"I know" he smiled sadly "I have no doubt Wanheda that you will do all you can to ensure the survival of humanity" 

"Then what's wrong" 

"I want Lexa on that list" he said with his chin raised high

Clarke frowned at him "of course, why would you think she wouldn't be on the list?"

Rick looked away uncomfortably "Lexa does not want to be on that list she wants to die with her people" he spat angrily 

Clarke gasped. When the shock left she got angry. She frowned and clenched her fists and shook her head and stomped off to her bedroom to find Lexa. When she entered the bedroom Lexa was sleeping peacefully. She wanted to yell at Lexa for her stubburness even if she didn't want to be on that list either. The thought of making that list made her stomach turn. She sat down on the bed with her hands in her hair frustrated. She looked at Lexa sleeping peacefully and felt some of the anger leave. She stripped of everything but her underwear and lied down beside Lexa. And stared at the ceiling. Lexa mumbled in her sleep and moved so that she was lying on top of Clarke. Clarke chuckled at the cuteness of the former commander. And wrapped her arms around her back holding her tightly. She kissed the top of her head which made Lexa sigh in her sleep. 

................................

Clarke barely slept. As comfortable as it was to have lexas against her she couldn't stop thinking. She felt Lexa move slightly as she was waking up. 

"Hi heda" she smiled 

"Wanheda" Lexa said back 

Clarke laughed for the first time in days "what is so funny " Lexa asked as she propped herself up on her elbow looking into the most beautiful blue eyes she has ever seen.

"I just can't believe the the big bad commander who has led and won wars and formed a coalition between 12 warring clans is cuddly" 

Lexa blushed and looked away "if you like I can find someone else to cuddle" she teased 

Clarke stopped laughing and looked at Lexa seriously but smiled when Lexa smirked. She nudged lexas shoulder "mean" she smiled as she lent forward and kissed Lexa softly on the lips "we have to talk" 

"What is it?" 

"The list" 

Lexa frowned "rick has such a big mouth that I am truely afraid when he speaks insects will fly out" 

Clarke laughed and rolled over to hug Lexa. They were both facing each other there noses inches apart "I won't leave you out there to die leksa" 

"And I will not take a spot on that list klark when it can be given to someone else more worthy" 

"You are worthy" 

"I need to be with the people I have no right to live if they do not" 

Clarke gripped her hip tightly "then I will stay with you" 

"No you won't" 

"Yes I will I am not leaving you" 

"You will live to lead our people" 

"I won't"

Lexa huffed in irritation "Beja klark. You have to live" 

Clarke cupped lexas cheek and kissed her "I can't live without you" she said softly "your going on that list" 

Bellamy burst into the room "Clarke come quick there are people at the gates" 

Lexa and Clarke stood up quickly and threw on their clothes. Lexa had the hoodie covering her face as she followed Lexa to the gate 

 

..................................

Clarke pushed her way to the front while holding lexas hand, she stopped in her tracks when she seen nyko and the sick grounders. They had blisters and were coughing. They looked familiar. 

"They need your medicine" nyko said desperately 

Clarke looked to the woman who was in the ground holding a child. She had big bushy red hair before she could say anything Lexa moved forward "Luna?" 

Luna snapped her head toward Lexa "leksa?" Lexa went to move toward her but Clarke held her back by her wrist 

"They might be contagious" Clarke whispered 

Abby moved her way to the front of the crowd to look everyone over. 

"Please don't turn us away because of what I did to you" Luna pleaded. 

"Mom what is this?"

Abby turned to her "fever, lesions, vomiting its ars" 

"What's ars?" Asked Bellamy 

"Acute radiation sickness and it's not contagious let's get them to the med bay" 

Lexa moved forward and helped Luna off the ground. She threw her arm around her shoulder to steady her. She smirked lazily at Lexa "I knew when Clarke of the Skai people told me you were dead that it was not true, you are too stubborn and hard headed to die sister" she teased 

Lexa smirked as Clarke led the way to med bay. "Sha also Wanheda demanded that I live" she teased 

Clarke looked back over her shoulder and rolled her eyes at Lexa "wanheda had nothing to do with it, I agree with Luna too stubborn and hard headed" she smiled as she continued to lead the way 

...................................

Lexa was sitting by Luna listening in and trying to understand what the sky Kruger were saying. She shook her head in frustration 

"Why are you here leksa?" Asked Luna

Lexa lifted her shirt to show Luna her wounds "I am not strong enough yet to fight"

Luna nodded and listened to what Clarke was saying

"They are getting worst there has to be something we can do"

"Medication might help but Raven has it locked up" said Jackson 

"Leave Raven to me" said Abby "what do the tests show?" 

"Without treatment leaves little to no recovery" he replied "its internal from eating the fish"

Lexa help sit Luna up as she was spewing. She held back her hair. Luna looked at Lexa and Bellamy "do you think I deserve this for turning down the flame?" 

"No one deserves to suffer"

"This would have happened either way Luna" said Lexa as she held Lunas hand

Clarke walked over and felt a jolt of jealousy at seeing Lexa hold Lunas hand. She pushed it aside 

"This is all that is left of my people can you save them?" 

"We will do everything we can I give you my word" Clarke replied

"Why do you not just give them medication?" Snapped Lexa

Clarke frowned "it's a little more complicated then that leksa" Clarke said softly she stood behind Lexa and placed her hand on her shoulders and squeezed gently. Lexa relaxed at her touch "can we talk?" 

"Sha" 

Clarke led Lexa by the hand to a quiet corner "what's wrong?" 

"You are lying klark?" 

"What no I'm not" Clarke frowned 

"I am not stupid klark I know I find it hard to understand some of what you and your people talk about but I know you have medication and Raven does not want to waste it" 

"Because it might not help leksa" 

"If these were skaikru you would get that medication, no questions asked" Lexa huffed as she went to walk away. 

Clarke grabbed her hand and pulled her back so their bodies were flush. "If I knew for certain that it would work, whether it be Skaikru, trikru anyone! I would use it with or without Ravens permission!" Snapped Clarke 

Lexa sighed as she gently placed her hands on Clarkes neck and rubbed her thumbs over her jaw "that is true, but you do not know for certain that it will not work" she lent forward and kissed Clarke and walked away


	8. Chapter 8

Abby walked back into the med bay feeling defeated after talking to Raven. Lexa sat down beside her. 

"It's hard being a doctor and feeling like I can't help" Abby sighed 

"Sha it is hard being a leader and feeling like you can not lead" sighed Lexa "I understand Ravens motives though" 

"So do I but it doesn't make it any easier" 

Murphy came and stood next to Abby and held out some medication "looking for these?" 

Abby looked up shocked she took the pills and stood up. Lexa stood up with her "what are you waiting for go be doctors" Murphy shrugged 

Abby handed the pills to Jackson and told him to give it to the child first and if it works to the rest she turn of ed to Murphy "I'm glad your back john" 

Abby walked away and Lexa stood in her place "john? I thought your name was Murphy?" Asked Lexa curiously 

"That's my last name commander" he smirked "I thought you were dead?" 

"Well as you can see I am not" she sighed 

"Enjoying it here on the ark?" He asked sarcastically 

"No" 

"I'm sure you can find at least something you like or someone?" 

Lexa rolled her eyes "I do not know what you speak of"

Murphy laughed "where is the princess by the way?" 

"On a mission with Jaha and Bellamy" 

Murphy laughed then stopped "seriously? Jaha?" 

"Yes you seem to have as much enthusiasm for him as I do?" 

"That's cause he is a dick" Lexa smiled 

"Perhaps" she walked away to stand by Luna who was ensuring that the child take the medication. 

....................

Lexa and nyko stood around Luna while she held the child while she took in her last breaths. Lexa held Luna while she cried. 

.……..............

Lexa was lying in bed when the door crashed open and Clarke walked in. Clarke didn't need to say anything for Lexa to see that the mission she went with Bellamy and jaha was a bust. Clarke stripped off her clothes and curled up beside Lexa.

"I have to make that list now" Clarke sighed 

"Beja klark put yourself on that list" 

Clarke turned so she was facing her "I'm going to make the list using logic, doctors, engineers, guards, people who can rebuild the new world I am only an apprentice"

"You are the leader of Skaikru klark"

"And you are the leader of the 13 clans"

"Yes that is why I need to be with them" 

Clarke huffed and turned her back on Lexa "I'm not going through this again leksa" 

Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarkes waist "I am not Skaikru, there is no place for me here klark. They will not accept me. They will cast me out anyway"

Clarke stood from the bed "I will not let them!" 

Lexa opened her arms "come lay with me, let us sleep and talk tomorrow" 

Clarkes shoulders dropped as she slipped into the bed in lexas warm embrace and she nodded. She held on to Lexa tight "I will not let them" she mumbled as she fell asleep

.........................

Lexa found Bellamy in the chancellor office. He was sitting in the chair looking defeated. He looked up when Lexa entered 

"Bellamy"

"Lexa"

"We need to talk" 

"Ok"

Lexa sat on the desk with her arms crossed "you need to make sure Clarke is on that list" 

Bellamy stood quickly "of course why wouldn't she be!" 

"She will not put her self on because I refuse to be on that list" 

Bellamy shook his head "she is our leader! We are both leading together!"

"I agree" 

"Then go on the list, you both lead well together anyway that way she will put herself on the list" 

"Bellamy kom skaikru. You are to choose someone in my place someone worthy. I will not take a spot and I will be the rest of the clans"

"You will die" 

Lexa shrugged "death is not the end" 

"She will never forgive me" he said sadly 

"Perhaps not. But she will be alive leading our people and building a future" 

"Ok" 

...................................

Lexa walked into the chancellors office looking for Clarke. She was sitting at the desk as Bellamy slept. Clarke started to cry. Lexa walked to her and kneeled beside her. She wrapped her arms around Clarkes mid section and held her. She knows that writing the list was hard. Bellamy walked up to the list and added her. Lexa nodded at him as he left. Clarke stood up from the seat allowing Lexa to sit and Clarke sat on her lap and cried. Lexa held her whispering sweet nothing and kissing her gently till she calmed down.

......................

Clarke and Lexa walked into the med bay hand in hand Clarke gasped when she noticed all the dead bodies that were covered but gasped again when Luna stood up healed. Lexa walked up to her. 

Abby stood up "impossible" she gasped she walked up to Luna 

"We didn't treat her" Raven said in shock 

Nyko joined Abby "how?" He asked 

"Her body has rejected the radiation on her own" Abby said Abby led Luna to sit down as she checked her over "I would like to run some tests" Luna nodded 

Jackson crouched down in front of her "what did you do?" He asked 

" nothing there is only one variable, there is one thing that sets Luna from the others" 

"Nightblood" Clarke said softly. 

She walked up protectively to Lexa and held her hand 

Lexa and Luna shared a look on uncertainty 

....................

Later that night   
Rick sat beside Lexa on the bed. 

"Rick I want you to go to Polis" said Lex

"Why?"

"I need to know what is happening in our Capitol rick. I need ears and eyes there and at the moment I can not" 

"Do you think that king roan is not doing his duty?" 

"I think that when roan finds out about the list and the fact that Luna is here and she is a nightblood he will think that skaikru is conspiring against the coalition. He will declare Skaikru and trikru enemies and try to take the ship" 

"Sha this makes sense"

"Yes and we must give Skaikru the time to try fix this issue" 

"Very well I will leave now"

"May we meet again old friend"

He smiled "may we meet again"


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke and Lexa were talking to Riley about drills for when the black rain would hit. They both turned when they heard laughter and a crowd gather. Clarke ran to the front and smiled when she seen that Jasper had put Jaha on a mattress and he was floating in the middle of the lake. 

"Ok we have had our fun. Back to work" she told everyone. 

Lexa rolled her eyes "klark do we really have time for these childish games" 

Clarke grabbed lexas hand and took her behind a piece of the ark for privacy. "No we don't" she shrugged 

"Well as foolish as I find Jasper kom skaikru at least he made you smile. It is nice" Lexa ran her thumb over Clarkes lip. Clarke wrapped her arms around lexas wasit and lent back against the wall pulling Lexa with her so that she was leaning against her, body flush with one another

"I feel so useless leksa" Clarke sighed and buried her head in lexas shoulder

"You are not though, these things take time"

"We don't have a lot of time left"

"We have enough" Lexa lent forward and kissed Clarke on the forehead. Clarke moaned into lexas shoulder, not out of pleasure but out of comfort. 

"You smell nice and you are warm" Clarke mumbled into her shoulder 

Lexa smiled and put her arms round her shoulders. They pulled apart when someone cleared their throat. Raven was standing with her arms crossed "ready commander?" 

Lexa sighed as Clarke frowned "ready for what?" Asked Clarke 

Raven rolled her eyes "we are leaving in 10 minutes commander maybe next time let your girlfriend in on your plans" Raven smirked

Lexa clenched her jaw "yes thank you for your helpful advice Raven" Lexa said through grit teeth. raven walked away laughing 

"Your not going Leksa" 

"Klark"

"No!" 

"Klark-"

"You are still injured!" 

"But I am-"

"No! No way!" Clarke started pacing 

"Klark I have-" 

"You don't have to do anything!" 

"Can you let me talk" Lexa snapped 

"No I can't because you are going to tell me reasons why you have to go and they are going to make sense and I don't want you to go so I don't want to hear it!" 

Lexa gently pushed Clarke up against the wall "I am a nightblood, Luna is my friend. I can help Klark I am not completely useless" 

"Leksa please" 

"I am going Klark" 

"Then I'm coming too" 

"No you have to stay here you have work to do" 

Clarke groaned in frustration and her shoulder sagged in defeat "please"

"I will come back Klark" 

Clarke put her hands behind lexas neck and bought their lips together "Lexa please I'm begging you stay here. I need you here. They have Luna to help with the nightblood I need you here to help me I can't do this with out you"

Lexa sighed "you just do not want me going as you think I am weak" 

Clarke shook her head and cupped lexas cheeks "no! I don't! You are injured yes but you are far from weak Leksa, you are strong and right now I need your strength. I need you. Please stay?"

"Fine" Lexa lied 

..............................

Lexa left Clarke to her duties to arrive at the boat, she felt bad for lying to her but she felt useless in Arcadia

When Lexa arrived at the boat Raven smirked "you know commander grumpy communication is the key to all healthy relationships"

Lexa rolled her eyes "what would I do without your wisdom and impeccable timing Raven kom skaikru" 

"Beats me" Raven shrugged "oh I know! You wouldn't have a angry wanheda up your ass" 

Everyone laughed including Abby and Luna "come one let's go" Abby said chuckling at Ravens antics. 

Lexa sat next to Luna and noticed a firmiliar face sitting next to Murphy "Emori?" 

Emori looked up and smiled "holy crap! Leksa kom trikru! I thought you were dead!" 

"You know the commander" asked Murphy 

"Yeah we go way back, we were childhood friends until she became heda, I'm glad your alive Lexa, the world has gone crazy since you lost your title" 

"Wait hold up!" Said miller "commander? What the hell is the commander doing here?" 

"Because Clarke wanted her here and Clarke gets what she wants" Raven shrugged 

"Whoa whoa whoa! Are you telling me that Clarke is banging the commander?" Miller chuckled 

"What is banging?" Asked Luna 

"Having sex and to answer your question Miller yes they are My room is next to theirs it's disturbing " shrugged Raven 

Lexa rolled her "I will not apologise for pleasuring my partner" 

Abby stood up quickly "ok let's stop talking about my daughters love life" she shook her head "and how did I not know this relationship ?" She asked confused 

"Is it skaikru tradition for one to inform ones parents of who they are having sexual relations with?" Lexa cocked her head to the side, the whole boat was laughing 

"Ok that's enough" said Abby. 

"Really Lexa? Wanheda?" Said Emori chuckling

Lexa sighed "Really Emori? Murphy?" 

"Hey I'm sitting right here!" Said Murphy 

"I do not think it is wise to speak to heda like this or Wanheda" added Ryder 

"I agree so all you shut up" said Abby 

Luna lent forward and whispered into Lexa ear "this trip is going to be long"

"Sha" 

"Man I always thought Clarke would be with Bellamy" said Miller causally 

Lexa shot up from her seat and walked towards Miller hit him in the face and took his gun "you will stop talking or I will cut out your tongue" she snapped 

Raven took the gun from Lexa " ok ok calm down and go sit" Raven turned to Miller "Miller shut up" she looked at Abby "really Abby you didn't know Clarke and Lexa were a thing?" Raven shook her head and laughed "and john you suck" 

"What did I do?" 

"Nothing yet" she stated while she sat down again 

Just as the boat started Clarke come running on to it. She looked at Lexa and frowned. She was angry, her face was red and her fists shook with anger "turn off the boat" she snapped. Emori nervously turned off the boat. She took a deep breath and talked calmly to Lexa "Laik yu gon get klin?" (are you for real) 

"Ai laik nou kwel o a goufa!" (I am not wear or a child) Lexa growled 

Again Clarke took a deep breath. Everyone on the boat was nervous except Murphy who found this amusing. 

Miller started laughing "wow they really are banging" Clarke snapped her head to Miller and walked slowly to him then kicked him hard in the stomach causing him to fall overboard 

Everyone stood up to see Miller swimming to the surface "what the fuck Clarke" Miller said

Raven started laughing uncontrollably "serves you right you asshole!" 

Clarke focused her attention back on Leksa "Kom me nau!" (With me now!)

Luna looked to Clarke confused "you can not order around heda" 

"Stay out of it Luna" snapped Clarke 

"Ok everyone calm down" said Abby trying to be the voice of reason "Clarke what is the matter"

"Mom I can fight my own battles and right now my battles are with Leksa. Leksa?" 

"Klark I can be of use to these people" 

Miller pulled himself on the boat trying to rid himself of the water saturating him "just get lost Clarke we don't have time for this" 

Lexa stood up "you do not get to talk to her that way!" She spat at him 

Clarke moved forward and place her hand on lexas chest to calm down but Lexa hit her hand away 

Raven stood up and winked at Clarke "ok I got a solution" everyone looked to Raven except Lexa who was glaring daggers at Miller "first off Miller shut up you just bitter cause Brian isn't talking to" he went to argue but she held up her hand "don't try to deny it your being an asshole "second Clarke why don't you just come" 

"No!" Lexa snapped 

Clarke walked to Lexa and whispered in her ear "Leksa Beja come with me or I will go with you" 

Lexa sighed "fine" 

Miller huffed "stupid grounders" 

Lexa pushed Clarke out of the way and punched Miller in the face which made him fall overboard again. Clarke walked up behind her and smirked at Miller who resurfaced. She held on to lexas waist "i find it humorous that you think us stupid but yet here we are helping save everyone. You are part of the coalition I created and it is the only reason why you are all still breathing and here we are yet again in a crisis and you have a nightblood you need to take blood from to potentially save the human race" Lexa scoffed

"Come Leksa" Clarke said calmly. Lexa shook her head and walked off the boat. She looked at Miller who got onto the boat again "if I ever hear you talking like that again. You are off guard duties" she said calmly "do I make myself clear?" 

"Yes" he grumbled 

Clarke kissed her mother on the cheek and ran after Lexa. 

.......................

"Lexa! Lexa wait!" Clarke called but Lexa kept on walking. Clarke ran ahead of her and blocked her off 

"Move klark!" 

"No! You don't get to be angry at me! You lied to me!" 

"Because you would not listen!" 

"I practically begged you to stay!" 

"I told you I did not want to!"

"I can't bare to be away from you!" Clarke yelled with tears in her eyes, she calmed down enough to talk without yelling "I can't bare to be away from you and you would so easily leave me and not even have the curtesy to say good bye" Clarke voice broke and she swallowed the lump in her throat "I shouldn't be surprised" Clarke shook her head "you don't have to stay with me but you will stay and heal" Clarke went to walk off but Lexa gently grabbed her wrist 

"What are you not surprised about?" 

"Doesn't matter" Clarke turned to walk off again but was stopped still by lexas gentle pull on her wrist 

"It does if it upsets you" 

"It upset me you leaving and it didn't bother You then" she scoffed 

"Klark I am useless here!" 

"Your not to me!" 

"Then tell me what does not surprise you" 

"Ok fine you wanna know! In the city of light I told you I loved you and you never said it back" 

Lexa frowned and shook her head "I do not understand" 

"Like I said it doesn't matter" Clarke tried to walk away again but Lexa held her around her waist and pulled her so they were behind a tree away from prying eyes 

"Yes it does what did I say when you told me that" 

Clarke sighed "I will always be with you" 

Lexa held Clarkes hand and pulled her toward her and pushed her up against the tree. She looked Clarke in the eyes and kissed her, when she pulled back Clarke was crying. Lexa wiped away the tears "I am not good at, at"

"At what?" 

"At feelings" 

Clarke scoffed "I'm aware" 

Lexa smiled "you said I sacrificed myself in the city of light did I say this before that?"

"Yeah" she said sadly 

"Because I meant it klark. I would have said that to you knowing I was never going to see you again. Knowing that your fight would go on without me, I would have said that to give you strength to continue this fight"

"Oh"

"But I do klark" 

"Huh" 

Lexa blushed and looked away "love you" she said under her breath 

Clarke smiled and grabbed her face "what?" Clarke said hopefully 

"Ai hod Yu in klark kom Skai kru" 

Clarke smashed their lips together "I love you too" she kissed her again. Lexa pushed her up against the tree and starting biting Clarkes neck, Clarke giggled "not here leksa" Lexa ignored her and nibbled on her ear lobe "leksa" Clarke moaned "wait" she said and she gently pushed Lexa back so she could look at her face "if you love me why did you try to leave me" 

"So I could be useful and strong again" 

Clarke smiled "you are useful and strong"

Lexa smiled and kissed her "come lets go back to our room" 

"Ok. Hey leksa?" 

"Yes" 

"I love you" 

Lexa smiled and looked back at Clarke "I love you too"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys still enjoying this? Anything you wanna see?


End file.
